While flipping through the channels yesterday, I found a great discussion about open marriages. A married couple of 8 years; (with children) both educated with great careers, maintaining an open marriage. Open meaning, she had other "partners" and he as well. How did he get started you ask? He came home from work one day and said, "I think I'm in love with someone else". My reaction, "Bye!" Her reaction, "OK, let's talk about this." After admitting that she loves her husband dearly, she said she'd rather face matters like that head on and with a open mind versus him doing it behind her back. They have met and hung out with each others partners and at least once a week they devote time to "the others" for sex but then come back home to the spouse.
Now I love my man. I truly value our friendship and honesty but I'll be damned if I could allow that form of agreement. For someone to use the term, "in love" means you've invested time with someone else long enough to develop feelings for them. You're not just sleeping with her, you are building a true relationship. How would he have time to do that when your wife is at home with the kids? When would his free time become time given to someone else? We all live our own lives. We march to the beat of our own drums and we all probably have different definitions of what a great relationship entails. And in this situation, I could not, and would not be that attentive to my mans needs. I have compromised. "Yes we can have "Football Sundays", I agree to do all the grocery shopping, hell I'll even wear that little lace thingy whenever you want." But sharing my man; I can't do.
Truth be told, an open relationship is just freedom to "get it" on the side then have the luxury to go back home to your main man. Many sources have said that Will and Jada are in a committed, yet open relationship. And just recently I found that Mo'Nique and husband of 4 years, Sidney are riding that same train. In the famous comedian's own words and I quote, "Could I have sex outside of my marriage with Sidney? Yes. Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That's not a deal-breaker." So there you have it. Although I may not agree, that's someone elses meaningful way of life. If two consenting adults are willing to spread it freely, then I say "Honey, spread it like the sun don't shine."